The Secret to Getting Published
I went to Barnes & Noble last night to do a little research. I've got the publishing bug again and went to scope out the competition in the Humor section of the hallowed shelves of this store. It turns out I've been going about my book idea all wrong. From what I saw on the shelves, I've missed what the masses are really looking for. Cat humor.
I swear that one out of three books in Barnes and Noble are about cats. Cats dressed as bunnies. Painted Cats. Naughty cats. Talking cats. I've totally missed the boat. In the entire two years that I've been publishing this blog, there have only been two posts about cats. (Here and Here) Publishers don't want my mommy humor. They don't want insights into the merits of the Sport Illustrated Swim Suit Issue. And they certainly don't want to read about Fido-eating Asians. They want cats.
If any of you have been at my end of the publishing journey, you'll know what obstacles I'm facing. I can only have a successful book if I have a great publisher. I can only get a great (or any) publisher if I have a fantastic agent. I can only get a fantastic agent if I have confidence that I have something worth publishing. And according to my research last night, I only have good content if I have cats. My current manuscript is going into the trash and I'm headed to the SPCA. I'll make my peace with these mangy marmots and their smug ways. I'll find a way to write a book called "Cats who Care" full of icky photos of cats dressed as doctors and airline attendants. It will be phenomenally successful. I'll go on tour and be on all the major talk shows with my cat cage in one hand and my gleaming, published book in the other. A year later my cats will suffocate me in my sleep but it will all have been worth it, I'll have been published.
I swear that one out of three books in Barnes and Noble are about cats. Cats dressed as bunnies. Painted Cats. Naughty cats. Talking cats. I've totally missed the boat. In the entire two years that I've been publishing this blog, there have only been two posts about cats. (Here and Here) Publishers don't want my mommy humor. They don't want insights into the merits of the Sport Illustrated Swim Suit Issue. And they certainly don't want to read about Fido-eating Asians. They want cats.
If any of you have been at my end of the publishing journey, you'll know what obstacles I'm facing. I can only have a successful book if I have a great publisher. I can only get a great (or any) publisher if I have a fantastic agent. I can only get a fantastic agent if I have confidence that I have something worth publishing. And according to my research last night, I only have good content if I have cats. My current manuscript is going into the trash and I'm headed to the SPCA. I'll make my peace with these mangy marmots and their smug ways. I'll find a way to write a book called "Cats who Care" full of icky photos of cats dressed as doctors and airline attendants. It will be phenomenally successful. I'll go on tour and be on all the major talk shows with my cat cage in one hand and my gleaming, published book in the other. A year later my cats will suffocate me in my sleep but it will all have been worth it, I'll have been published.
Comments
don't sell out to the cats. just don't do it. we need the percentage of cat books in relation to other books to decline, and i'm counting on you to help out with that ratio!
I hope you are able to wedge your foot in the door - I'm sure you'd write something fantastic.
http://3boysundermyroof.blogspot.com
And now I'm doubly (is that a word?) screwed because I hate cats and try to squirt them with water whenever they come into my yard!
Aargh!
Kathy
www.lessonsfromthelaundry.com