September 19, 2006

Dear Men,

I've noticed lately that almost all my comments are from women. That's fine - great in fact. Some of my favorite people are women. But I wonder where all you male internet users spend your days. I can think off hand of less than ten guys who I know read this blog but even those usually don't comment. We all know how comment hungry us bloggers are so I decided to look into the unisex appeal of this blog and perhaps develop a strategy to capture more of the male vote.

The short answer is probably just that the inherent nature of this site is uninteresting to you men. Most likely the posts about housework, baby bodily functions and make up send you screaming to more male friendly blogs. And yet, I feel like we've given fair airtime to some pretty gross boy subjects. Not to mention that the strong silent side of this blog, Spike, posts about every six months to maintain that "fair and balanced" thing that Fox News nails. With Spike's enthralling posts about cell phones and The Simpsons, it seems that you would come crawling back for more (every six months that is).

Another reason you male readers should not be put off by this blog is that we have a long and glorious tradition of not posting gratuitous pictures of fuzzy animals in sunglasses or any kind of Hawaiian apparel. The only cute animal picture the blog has ever sported was posted by Spike and it was a murderous one at that.

In perusing past posts, I was surprised to find an overwhelming amount of boy-friendly entries. The blog explores topics such as baldness, beer, chest hair, Angelina Jolie, three-legged sheep (a timeless good-old-boys favorite), evil politics, eating contests and the Mob. However, any headway I may have gained with these posts could have been stolen away by my more girlie posts about hormones, male figure skaters, chick parties, uteruses, painfully bad poetry, recipes and parenting ad nauseum. It's a tricky balance but I hope to strike it.

And so I wonder - who are my men out there? What do you want to hear about? I'm a pleaser, just let me know. If I start to think only women are reading this blog than over time I'm going to lose all restraint and just talk about babies and pregnancy every day. If you don't want that to happen, let me know and I'll continue keeping your everchanging needs in mind by posting something unemotional and jaded every once and a while.

Most Sincerely, Hollywood

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I specifically recall a post by your sister referring to her "ample bosom and small hips." I suspected that to be a ploy to attract the coveted male 18-30 demographic, and thus increase your advertising revenue.

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad sweetie...here I am.

Love Dad

Sarah said...

Ah Ha! I should just have Caroline guest blog here every once and a while and that would probably take care of the ratio issues!

Hi Dad :)

Adam said...

what am i, chopped liver? i comment. i have testosterone (at least a little). i like donuts. mmmm donuts.

A Payne said...

That picture freaks me out. That is the same pose my older brother would make when he was about to pass gas.

Patrick the anonymous commenter. Aw, crap. said...

I like to read. Its how I keep that 'Flakey Goodness' mojo goin' on while we are so far away. It is one of my guilty pleasures, and as such, I am not at liberty to comment willy-nilly. For instance, I just don't think it appropriate to congratulate you on being 'knocked up'. Keep on keeping on, sister. And whatever you do, DON'T blog alone...